Gut

I was just changing clothes and I saw my gut. I thought I was going to throw up and I don't mean on purpose. I still might. How did I get so huge? A month ago my stomach was flat. Not as flat as I would like but it didn't protrude. Even half a week ago I was saying I looked like I had dropped a couple of lbs. Even the scale says I lost a lb this week and I've been purging but I'm bigger. I pray that it's PMS (my cycle is always irregular so I'm never prepared when PMS rears it's ugly head) but it's more likely the brownie binge I was on over the weekend. I'M SO DISGUSTING!
Sunday night was horrible! I saw myself in the mirror after my binge as I was getting in the shower. I actually look worse than at my HW when i weighed a whopping 150lbs! That was around the holidays this year and I could barely look at myself and now I can't again. I had been planning on doing a fruit and veggi clense later this week but after seeing myself I knew I had to start a fast. NOW!
For me a fast intales nothing chewable until dinner and then as little food as I can get away with and generally goes Monday thru Friday. I did ok yesteday. A cup of coffee, a yogurt (I usually have non-fat but this was only low-fat which I regret now), and for dinner the smallest chicken breast (grilled) I have ever seen with skim milk and a couple of sips of lemonade (which I hadn't planned on so now I feel guilty about that too).