Disapointment

I feel so fat! I went to Starbucks with my mom today because she was hungry and I was in dire need of caffeine. Well, if you've ever looked at the calories at Starbucks you'll know you can barely walk in the place without gaining major pounds. Well I got a grande mocha, non fat, no whip of course and mom got a lemon loaf. My mom NEVER asks me if I want anything when we go out but today she asked me if I wanted a lemon loaf too. I really wanted to eat something because I felt weak and had a long day of shopping ahead of me so I wound up saying yes. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT! And it wasn't even that good today but I ate the whole thing up like I hadn't had a bite to eat all week. I mean I devoured it. Then a few hours later I had a granola bar, another 130 calories! And then a hamburger- just the patty- with onions (neg calories!) and katsup with water. And all that was AFTER a yogurt, an egg, and whole wheat toast. The only good thing is my parents saw me eating all of it.
I don't want my parents to know I'm not eating because then they'll force me to eat. But I kind of wish they'd notice something. Notice I barely buy groceries anymore. Notice that the food I do get just sits there for weeks. Notice that the boxes of food may be open but that they're still 100% full. Most of all I just wish they would notice that my weight loss for this year is going on TWENTY LBS! They haven't said a single word about the seventeen lbs I've taken off. I've told them my clothes are too big. I'm wearing things that used to barely, if at all, fit. I'm wearing a size down in jeans. But still nothing. I guess I should be glad they're clueless, means I don't have to eat. But sometimes I wish they paid any attention to me.
Well that's enough self-pity I think. Think thin!
<3 Ariana