Been So Bad

Easter was a disaster. I know I had said I wouldn't eat if I didn't meet my weight goal but here's my thinking: I had barely cheated at all over three weeks, I was staying in control, and I had started that drug, the one that makes you gain weight (I'm going off it again cuz it's not doing shit) so I thought I'd treat myself to a tiny bit of breakfast and have veggies at diner. I had good intentions but it turned into a total binge. I started out just having 1 egg, 1 cinamon roll, and 2 small pieces of bacon. That turned into several peices of bacon and FIVE cinnamon rolls! How I could even fit that much in my body I don't know. It's terrifying. And it gets worse. How much worse? Crackers and carrots with super high cal dip for starts. Then half a plate of ham, beans that had bacon added in, potatoes that had cheese in them ( as if the potatoes weren't bad enough by themselves), and two butter rolls. Top it off with a slice of cheese cake and a handfull of jelly beans!
And I haven't been good in the past couple days either. I've been addicted to jelly beans, yesterday I ate ice cream (!!!), now today I eat an apple with peanutbutter, pop corn (1 tbsp of olive oil, no butter. I'm trying to add nuts and olive oil back into my diet because it's supposed to help digestion to eat fats. So far it's helping but those are the only kinds that are allowed by my rules which I can't seem to follow), then for dinner we had pizza so I had some of that then ate a chocolate granola bar, then a chocolate bar, then two bananas ( that weren't even ripe). I just couldn't stop eating! UGG!
The plan for tomorrow (or today as it's technically almost one here) is to liquid fast for the day and try and put together a meal plan that's mainly fat free fruits and veggies.
Well, that's all for now. Best of luck,
<3 Ariana