Thinspo!!!

I figured it was time to work out uploading pictures so here's the first of lots of thinspo...

Like A Kid Again

I weighed in at 133.4 this morning. My weight hasn't been 133 since I was a freshman! Now I want to beat my freshman low weight (and the lowest specific weight I can remember) of 130.0. I'm super determined to get there. I will not fail!
I'm water fasting today but I did eat a sandwich. I nearly fainted, in front of my dad no less, so I had two super thin pieces of turkey on whole wheat. But I'm back to the fast. I shall not look at this like a failure and then binge because I've already broken my fast, but start the fast all over. I will reach 120's next week no matter what it takes!
Think thin and stay strong! You can do anything you set your mind to.
<3 Ariana

BMI

Inspired by Jenny Will Be Perfect's blog I decided to check my BMI and was shocked to see it was 20.6. I know it's not amazing but I expected it to be like 22 or 23 so it was a nice surprise. I went on to figure that when I reach my first goal weight of 120.0 my BMI will be 18.4 which is on the very very tippy top of the underweight class. I can't wait to see myself after losing the 14lbs between here and there. I've lost the first sixteen over the last four months and I bet I can lose the next fourteen in half the time! I will be skinny. I will be beautiful. I will have control.
I didn't reach my goal last week because of a binge here and a treat there (and another couple binges- it was not a good week for binging). This week I've set a big goal: from 136 at the begining of the week down to 131 by Monday. Today was 134.4 but yesterday I was back to 136 again so it's a big loss for one day. I water fasted Monday, liquid fasted Wednesday, and I'm water fasting tomorrow. If I don't reach my goal this week, I'll liquid fast on Monday. I'm super determined with graduation so close. I will lose at least five lbs before then no matter what it takes!
In other news, my laptop is finally fixed so I'll have plenty of time to read blogs and I'll be looking for new blogs (so if anyone has one they love or just wants to promote theirs now's the time).
I'm off to read blogs.
<3 Ariana

Quick Update

I know I said I was going to try that new diet last week but I felt so bloated and decided to liquid fast instead. Then I consequently bingedand wound up canceling out all my hard work. I water fasted yesterday and did well today until my mom wanted to get but one get one free sundays. I really wanted ice cream and caved. An isolated slip I promise. This week I'm doing a meal plan I adapted from two prothinspo.com plans. If it works out I'll post it.
Not much else to say except that I'm super stressed. Luck to all.
<3 Ariana

135

Okay, so it's actually 135.6 but I finally got there. I've lost fifteen pounds now this year and eight pounds since I started blogging last month!
I kind of binged a little today. I don't know if I'd really label it a binge but I had way too many calories. I'm not too freaked though. I'm going to breakfast at the bakery where I'm trying to get hired in the morning but after that I start a very strict 5 day diet of fruit, yogurt, and eggs (made without oil or if I do use any < 1 teaspoon extra virgin olive oil). I still love the diet I was on but I was on it for nearly two weeks and I'm in need of a break. I'll probably start back up with it Saturday unless some shiny new diet catches my eye before then. I might do a water fast one day this week; I've been really wanting to do that this weekend but I've been super busy and I don't drive and fast lest I cause a huge traffic accident. (Yikes!)
With May fast approaching I've really got to crack down. May is an extremely hectic month full of birthdays, anniversaries, brunches, and grill based road trips so it's going to be super difficult to lose weight once it starts and with summer trips and barbecues to follow things aren't getting any easier when it's over. And of course after the summer is moving into cafeteria meals, vending machines, and tons of pizza and fast food around me at all times! I know I wont make my goal of 120 by graduation at this point but I'm gonna get as close as I can. With less than two weeks until the end of April my goal is going to be to get as close to 130 as possible before May 1st. If I can be in the 120's on the 14th I'll be happy (and able to enjoy the night's four course meal at my fav restaurant (without the need to purge after).
I'm really tired so sorry if I'm rambling.
Non appetite!
<3 Ariana

My Great New Diet

I started a new diet a week ago and it's working great. I'm losing about half a pound a day and I'm eating! I feel like I'm eating way too much but you can't argue with results. So what I'm doing is eating a bowl of corn flakes for breakfast, a bowl of soup, a very small dinner, and up to two snacks of fruit or granola. It's a ton, right? I can't believe I'm losing weight eating so much. And I'm losing weight off my thighs. That NEVER happens!
That brings me to some amazing news: MY PANTS DON'T FIT! They are falling off me! I'm so happy. I'm going shopping this weekend to get some cheap new ones. They have to be cheap because I plan to go down another two sizes to a 3 or maybe even a size 1. That would be amazing beyond belief but I don't want to be able to run so muscle might get in my way.
I'm not settling for anything short of 135 this week. I've been fighting for it for so long meaning both in the month I've been on this diet and the three years I've gone without seeing it. I will make it happen! I'm only half a lb away; I would have reached it already but a poor decision about whether I could afford bread with dinner set me back to 137.0 yesterday, but I'm back to 136.6 today and I will not go up again. I'm really hoping to see it tomorrow and I'm being super careful about what I eat and drink today. But if I don't reach it tomorrow I won't rest until I'm 100% sure I'll see it Saturday. My official goal is to reach 134 by Sunday so that puts more pressure on to reach 135 tomorrow.
One last thing. I've started drinking green tea. Normally I can't stand the stuff but Bigelow makes an infusion of green and mint leaves that is absolutely delicious. I don't even have to add anything to it, the mint gives it the illusion of already being sweetened. I definitely recommend it.
Well, that's all for now. I'll post again when I hit 135.
Non appetite, mes belles
<3 Ariana

Quick Post

I did pretty well today. I stuck to my rules and got to skip dinner cuz mom's sick. Still, I'm pretty bummed cuz I'm almost down to a month til graduation and still have barely lost any weight. I want to be down 20lbs but with my freakishly slow metablolism the past couple weeks I'm wondering if it will be possible or if I'll just be a blimp as usual. I'm going shopping may 8th at the good mall that's far away and I want to be able to but skinny people clothes. I've got exactly one month til then as of tomorrow.
I'm hoping to hear about the job at the acursed bakery of delicious doom tomorrow. I really hope I get it but I'm not looking forward to all that temptation. Why couldn't we know the manager of a nice clothing store or something?
Wish me luck.
<3 Ariana

Been So Bad

Easter was a disaster. I know I had said I wouldn't eat if I didn't meet my weight goal but here's my thinking: I had barely cheated at all over three weeks, I was staying in control, and I had started that drug, the one that makes you gain weight (I'm going off it again cuz it's not doing shit) so I thought I'd treat myself to a tiny bit of breakfast and have veggies at diner. I had good intentions but it turned into a total binge. I started out just having 1 egg, 1 cinamon roll, and 2 small pieces of bacon. That turned into several peices of bacon and FIVE cinnamon rolls! How I could even fit that much in my body I don't know. It's terrifying. And it gets worse. How much worse? Crackers and carrots with super high cal dip for starts. Then half a plate of ham, beans that had bacon added in, potatoes that had cheese in them ( as if the potatoes weren't bad enough by themselves), and two butter rolls. Top it off with a slice of cheese cake and a handfull of jelly beans!
And I haven't been good in the past couple days either. I've been addicted to jelly beans, yesterday I ate ice cream (!!!), now today I eat an apple with peanutbutter, pop corn (1 tbsp of olive oil, no butter. I'm trying to add nuts and olive oil back into my diet because it's supposed to help digestion to eat fats. So far it's helping but those are the only kinds that are allowed by my rules which I can't seem to follow), then for dinner we had pizza so I had some of that then ate a chocolate granola bar, then a chocolate bar, then two bananas ( that weren't even ripe). I just couldn't stop eating! UGG!
The plan for tomorrow (or today as it's technically almost one here) is to liquid fast for the day and try and put together a meal plan that's mainly fat free fruits and veggies.
Well, that's all for now. Best of luck,
<3 Ariana